


I Take It Back

by Callisto_HK



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7502886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callisto_HK/pseuds/Callisto_HK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It meant to be just a prank; and it was. They just happened to choose the worst day to play it on him... Could things get any worse? Oh, of course, things could always get worse when it comes to Tony!/Rated T for Language/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It meant to be just a prank; and it was. It might have been a cruel one, but it was a prank nevertheless. They just happened to choose the worst day to play it on him and the problem was that they didn't see the lines of pressure and stress around his eyes and the extra effort he was making in order to hide his internal conflicts.  
  
The whole thing had been McGee's idea; he'd thought it'd be fun to play Tony for a while and they all knew how he'd get if they ignored him.  
  
Abby was reluctant, at first, but she finally accepted after a long talk with Ziva and McGee.  
  
The plan was to ignore Tony for one full day, exclude him from everything and every conversation. It wasn't really easy for Abby, but she could just close her lab's door and avoid him as much as possible.  
  
It wasn't the brightest idea, though. Seemed like the universe was kinda against them, or against Tony, depending on how you looked at things; because that day Tony was in a really bad mood.  
  
The night before, he'd woken up with his phone ringing and as he answered it, assuming that they had a case, his father's voice had filled his ear.  
  
It took his drowsy mind a few seconds to register the words he was hearing, but it was clear that his father was drunk and he likely wouldn't even remember a word he was saying to Tony at that moment.  
  
Tony'd remember, though. How could he forget? Those hateful words weren't something anyone could forget easily. Especially now that he thought he'd started to rebuild some bridges between himself and his father; when he thought things were getting better between the two of them and that his father was regretting his actions towards his son at his early ages. But who was he kidding, old habits die hard; or do they die at all?  
  
He didn't even get the chance to really ask what was bothering his father; he'd received the hurtful words and before he could wrap his mind around his father's words and his apparently 'very low' opinion of his son, his father had hung up on him and he was sitting there on his bed, staring at his cell with shock.  
  
He hadn't been able to get any more sleep that night and since it was 0230 in the morning, he didn't really feel like watching a movie; so he took a shower and left for the navy yard; hopping for a busy workday so he could forget his father's words. He thought seeing his teammates, chatting and arguing with them over some stupid stuff would change his mood for better.  
  
As if it wasn't his day at all, Gibbs was in one of his worst moods, too. He showed up at work around 0600 and for some unknown reasons he was cursing under his breath as he entered the bullpen.  
  
A meeting with the Director in the MTAC was all he needed to lose it completely and of course, as everyone expected, Tony turned out to be the target of his anger.  
  
Sighing, Tony shook his head and once again wished for a case to turn up.  
  
"Morning to you, too." Tony said as he saw Ziva and McGee arriving and taking their seats. They murmured their hellos and didn't even glance his way.  
  
"What? You didn't get your coffees, either?"  
  
"Can you just shut up for one day?" Ziva said heatedly as she looked at him sharply.  
  
Taken aback at her anger, he raised his palms up in surrender and turned his attention back to his computer.  
  
The day just got worse for Tony; he once found Abby, McGee and Ziva talking quietly by Ziva's desk when he got back from the bathroom and to his surprise, they suddenly stopped talking as they noticed him and murmured a few words, exchanged a few nods and everyone went their ways. Tony blinked in confusion and sat at his desk, trying hard to remember what he had done the last day that had irritated his friends so bad.  
  
At one point, Tony went to the autopsy to talk to Ducky about the forms he was filling and found out that even the old ME was in a bad mood.  
  
_'What's this? 'Let's-hate-Tony' day?'_ he thought as he almost fled from the autopsy to avoid the old man's wrath. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the old doctor so impatient and agitated. He made a mental note to talk to him when he was calmer.  
  
Back at the bullpen, he found McGee and Ziva looking at something on Ziva's computer and he couldn't resist asking what it was they were working on, the answer was a mumble from McGee ordering, _yes ordering_ , him to mind his own business for a change.  
  
On any other day, he wouldn't have rested until he found out about their secret, but today he couldn't care less. Their behaviors were slowly, but deeply, getting under his skin and he couldn't help thinking about all the times he'd seen the same disrespect and received the same hurtful comments from his teammates; or from everyone else for that matter.  
  
The lack of protest from him made Ziva and McGee wonder a bit, but they brushed it off and continued with their plan.  
  
It was around afternoon when Tony finally had had enough.  
  
"OK, what have I done?" He asked when he saw Ziva and McGee got back from their coffee break, bringing back a coffee for Gibbs and nothing for him.  
  
"What?" Ziva looked up.  
  
"Come on, spill it; what have I done? Why are you mad at me?"  
  
Ziva and McGee exchanged a meaningful look and turned their attentions back to their works.  
  
"What's going on here? You could at least tell me what I've done; 'cause I seriously have no idea and if I don't know anything, I can't fix it."  
  
"You mean you do not know?" Ziva asked with an angry tone.  
  
"That's what I just said. You think I'd ask if I knew, David?" Tony was losing his patience.  
  
"That is... That is just-"  
  
"Unbelievable." McGee helped Ziva and gave Tony a disgusting look. "I don't understand why they keep you around."  
  
Ziva's eyes widened, it wasn't in the plan, but she didn't say anything, because apparently it had the result they were waiting for; Tony's head snapped up with a look of anger in his eyes. They both missed the look of hurt in there, though.  
  
"What the hell?" Tony exclaimed but wasn't able to add anything else as Gibbs strode into the bullpen, anger radiating from him.  
  
"Yes. What the hell, DiNozzo? I asked for that damn report like two days ago and here you're wasting my time with your stupid antics. Give me one reason why I shouldn't send you away as an Agent Afloat." He barked.  
  
The last sentence caught Ziva and McGee's attentions and they looked up at him with open mouths.  
  
Gibbs was regretting his words as soon as they left his mouth but he wasn't one to apologize, so he just stood there and kept staring at Tony as numerous feelings crossed his feature, the last three could be hurt, determination and anger; or was that disappointment?  
  
Tony slowly stood up from his seat and looked Gibbs in the eyes. "I don't have any, Boss." he spoke in a quiet but kind of dangerous tone.  
  
Gibbs was a little shocked by those words and in his mind, he started to go through different ways of making it up to him as Tony spoke the next words.  
  
"The report you've asked for, two _hours_ ago, is already on your desk. You would've found it if you had taken a look at your desk instead of -" He fell silent. "Going to the head." He said and left the bullpen.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
**... TBC ...**


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs sighed and sat at his desk; he knew he'd gone too far and he didn't really mean to unload his anger on Tony. He could feel that something was wrong with him and he did want to find the reason behind it, but the news he'd received in MTAC and some other little - unimportant - things had set him off and he hadn't been able to control his rage.  
  
He just wished Tony could forgive him easily and let the comment slide off him as he always did.  
  
Ziva and Tim were still looking at Tony's now empty desk with awe, now knowing how to react.  
  
McGee snapped out of it first; he turned to his computer and started typing something. A few seconds later, a window popped up on Ziva's computer and she typed something back to McGee after reading his message.  
  
Realizing that it wasn't the right time to add to Tony's misery, they decided to stop their joke and show him some support and McGee started to write Abby a message, giving her a heads-up on what had happened and what they'd decided so far.  
  
A few minutes later, Tony was back at his desk. Ignoring Ziva and McGee's worried glances that were being sent his way, he sat down and started working on some file that he had opened on his computer.  
  
It was then that his desk phone rang.  
  
"DiNozzo..." He answered the phone. "Yes... OK, I'll be right up." He hung up and stood from his chair. "Going to the Director's office." He announced and walked up the stairs, not waiting for an answer from his boss.  
  
Gibbs felt his stomach churned and was about to stand up and follow Tony when a squealing Abby entered the bullpen, asking for Tony.  
  
When she found Tony's desk empty, she turned to Gibbs and bombarded him with her usual nonstop rambling, berating him for being so mean and threatening Tony with something like sending him away.  
  
Gibbs gave McGee a dirty look, causing him to gulp visibly.  
  
McGee knew Gibbs would give him a hard time for telling Abby about the situation, but the truth was he had no other choices; they had to stop the prank and there was no other way but to tell her why they needed to do so.  
  
"Abby. Stop." Gibbs finally interrupted her.  
  
"How can I stop? You hurt Tony. You really really hurt him. You know how much he hated being on that ship and yet you're-... wait a second, where's Tony again?"  
  
"He's in the Director's office." McGee answered before he could stop himself and got another dirty look from Gibbs.  
  
"What?-" Abby's eyes widened. "What's he doing there? What have you done, Gibbs?"  
  
"Abby." Gibbs warned. "I didn't send him there; Vance asked to see him and I've no idea what's going on in that room. I was about to go and see when you showed up."  
  
"Oh." Abby said. "OK then, go on and find out. I won't stop you; this conversation is not over, though, Mister."  
  
Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Go back to your lab; I don't wanna see you here when I come back. You two, back to work." He ordered and left the bullpen for Vance's office.  
  
He didn't find the chance to interrupt the Director's meeting with Tony. As he got to the Director's assistant's room, Tony left Vance's office. He looked at Gibbs for a few seconds before walking past him; hurt and sadness obvious in his eyes.  
  
"DiNozzo, stop right there." Gibbs barked.  
  
To his utter shock, Tony ignored his order and continued his way down the stairs.  
  
"I gave you an order, DiNozzo." Gibbs growled when he reached him by his desk.  
  
"You can't give me any more orders. You're not my boss, anymore." Tony's voice was tired and there was something in there that Gibbs hadn't heard for a long time. He sounded just like the time when he'd found out that his partner in Baltimore had been a dirty cop.  
  
Gibbs remembered meeting Tony in detective Price's house, looking like he'd been betrayed in the worst way, which was true; he'd been betrayed, but Gibbs had hoped that he'd never hear the younger man sound like that again.

And here they were, standing in _their_ office; Tony had the same look of defeat on his face and the exact same tone in his voice.  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He asked a little too harshly, hiding his concern and fear of losing his best agent.  
  
"It means as of now, I'm off your team. I'm being sent to USS Seahawk as the Agent Afloat, since their latest Agent Afloat is dead. I gotta leave ASAP to investigate his death."  
  
Using the word 'shocked' for the way the felt, would've been the underestimation of the year.  
  
"Enjoy your time, you're all free now." Tony gave him a bitter smile as he gathered his stuff.  
  
"You're not going anywhere." Gibbs regained his voice. "Vance has no right to send you there. We need you here."  
  
"If I recall correctly, you're the one who suggested me. Don't pretend you're shocked."  
  
"What?" Gibbs frowned. "Why would you think-" he stopped as his own words echoed in his ears. "Aww, hell. I didn't mean it, DiNozzo. I would never do that. I've just heard about Agent Ryan's death and I was angry."  
  
"Uh-huh." Tony didn't pay much attention.  
  
"It just left my mouth, I didn't mean it and I would never do that. You know me." He paused, hoping to see some positive reactions.  
  
Nothing.  
  
"You're not going anywhere; like I said, you're needed here." He added and turned around to go see Vance and tear him a new one, if necessary.  
  
"Don't waste your breath." Tony called out. "I'm needed there and I'm going. It's probably temporary, but he doesn't know how long it'll take to find another agent to replace Ryan, and till then I should stay there and fill his spot."  
  
"Why you? He can find someone else." Ziva spoke for the first time since things had started to go sour.  
  
"Because I've worked there, I know the crew."  
  
"And you're the only one who has ever worked there?" This time it was McGee who spoke up.  
  
Tony closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. "Only if I knew what you guys really want."  
  
"What's that got to do with us?"  
  
"You don't want me here; you don't want me there. What's your problem exactly? You want me completely out of NCIS? I don't remember doing something to you to evoke such reactions. But then again, I'm unbelievable, aren't I?" he was done with packing his stuff and by this time Gibbs was sending death glares towards McGee and Ziva.

He didn't know what was going on, but by the look of it they had said and done something to their teammate that had brought him to this point; letting Gibbs finish the job and apparently add the final straw.  
  
"Ah, Tony, about that, -" McGee began but was stopped by Tony.  
  
"Don't bother." He didn't want to sound like a brat, he was just really angry; moving towards feeling numb." I said this isn't going to be permanent, but honestly, this time I'm not sure I wanna come back. So, I guess, you don't have to fight with Vance over me. It's not worth it, anyway." Tony finished, grabbed his stuff and walked to the elevator.  
  
"DiNozzo, wait. Stop right there."  
  
"I'm not getting orders from you, remember?" Tony said over his shoulder.  
  
Gibbs shook his head in frustration and walked after him, entering the elevator, merely a second before the doors closed. Stopping the car, he turned to face the sighing Senior Field Agent, aka the temporary Special Agent Afloat.  
  
"Gibbs, I've to be on the USS Seahawk as soon as possible and report, I don't have time for a pep talk."  
  
"You. Are. Not. Going. Anywhere, DiNozzo."  
  
Tony just rolled his eyes.  
  
"I know you're angry and hurt, but it wasn't my intention. I didn't mean what I said and as soon as it left my mouth I wanted to take it back. I-"  
  
"You're talking too much for yourself there, Bo-.. Gibbs." Tony corrected himself. Taking a deep breath, he started the elevator. "I'll come back when Vance sends a replacement." He finally said. "But till then, I have to go and be where the agency wants. Besides, we can't let them get away with the murder of a federal agent. You guys are supposed to work on the case from here; I'll send you the information when I get there and find something."  
  
The elevator dinged and the door opened to the parking lot. "Don't worry about what you said. It's OK. You're not the only one who feels that way." He let out a bitter chuckle. "I usually have that effect on people. Even on my own father. It means something is wrong with my behavior and I'm gonna find and fix it while away. Who knows, this might be good for everyone, after all." He said sarcastically and walked out of the elevator, but stopped one last time and looked back at the- Well, Tony could have sworn Gibbs was shocked, but he knew better.- he looked back at the still silent Gibbs. "Be careful... Later."  
  
And just like that he was gone.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
... TBC ...


	3. Chapter 3

Gibbs stopped the door from closing and stepped out himself, calling out for Tony. "Don't get too comfortable there, you hear me, DiNozzo? You belong here and you'll come back as soon as possible."  
  
He reached Tony by his car. "I wouldn't have let you go, but I know you're the best to investigate Ryan's death. So don't get killed and don't think too much." He reached out and slapped Tony over his head, making sure he'd delivered what he really meant. "Whatever you just said was total crap. I don't wanna hear them again and we're gonna make you understand it when you're back. Good luck."  
  
Tony rubbed the back of his head and looked at Gibbs skeptically. Nodding his head with a frown, he drove away.  
  
Gibbs grabbed his cell phone and dialed the number he knew too well.  
  
"What now?" Tony answered on the second ring.  
  
"Apology is OK between friends, I'm sorry for what I said to you." Gibbs let out the words that he couldn't say to Tony's face.  
  
Tony sighed on the other end of the line. "Thanks. I said it's fine-"  
  
"No, it's not." Gibbs interrupted him. "Not for the reason you said. I shouldn't have said that, it was out of line." _'And it seems like I'm gonna pay for opening my mouth when I shouldn't have.'_ He added silently.  
  
Tony smiled to himself. "Thank you, Gibbs, really. It means a lot."  
  
"What was that you said about your father?"  
  
There was silence before Tony answered; the hardness was back in his voice. "Nothing."  
  
"DiNo-"  
  
"I said nothing, Gibbs. Forget it. I'm driving, remember? I gotta go. Enjoy the silence; I'm sure you'll manage to get more work done."  
  
Gibbs opened his mouth to answer when he realized that the line had gone dead. Tony had just hung up on him!  
  
"Dammit." cursing under his breath he walked towards the elevator to get back to the bullpen, perfectly aware that nothing had been done up there. Not that it was unexpected; Tim and Ziva were probably still shocked. He didn't have time for being shocked, though. He had lots of work to do.  
  
He had a director to tear apart for sending away his best agent without even asking for his opinion. He had a team to interrogate to see what was behind their behaviors and the looks being exchanged between them the last few hours; he had Abby to deal with and it wasn't going to be easy. He needed to find out what DiNozzo Sr. had done this time and he had to investigate Ryan's case from his side to help Tony find the murderer, in order to get him back as soon as possible.  
  
But more importantly he had to deal with himself; he was mad at himself for saying those words and apparently at the worst possible time. Not that there was any good time for reprimanding your senior agent, in front of everyone and for something that he hadn't even done. It was totally wrong in the first place, but what's done is done. He now had to find a way to fix it and only hope that it wasn't too late.

He couldn't lose Tony to a damn stupid ship and definitely not for some stupid words that had left his mouth without thinking. Tony was too valuable, as a friend and as an agent and he was determined to bring him back home before anything else.

  
  
Things didn't go as smoothly as Gibbs had hoped. It took him three months and one week to finally make Vance bring Tony back. Not that Vance was mad at Tony or was doing this to punish him for anything. Actually, it was exactly the opposite; he was too satisfied with Tony's work as the Agent Afloat; and apparently so was the Captain of that ship.  
  
It wasn't easy to find an agent capable of working alone on a ship; not everyone was qualified for a job like that.  
  
"Gibbs, I still think it's a mistake to replace DiNozzo with Larence. He's doing a great job out there; he found Ryan's murderer in less than a couple of days and honestly, no other agents have ever done such a fine job on that ship." Vance stopped for a second and rolled his eyes. "I can't believe I'm admitting this to you."  
  
"Rule number 5. You're wasting his skills on a ship." Gibbs noted. "He's needed here, Leon."  
  
"You can't keep him around forever, Gibbs."  
  
"I can and I will, as long as he wants to stay. I need my right hand man back, Leon and now that you've found his replacement, I want him back at his desk."  
  
"You intend to hand him your team, don't you?" Vance smirked.  
  
"You know a better man for that job?" Gibbs raised his eyebrow.  
  
"What if he gets killed before-"  
  
Gibbs' hard glare stopped him mid-sentence. He didn't mean it the way Gibbs had taken but death was part of their job. "Forget I said that." He couldn't help taking it back, though.  
  
Gibbs stood up and stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind him.  
  
...  
  
When Tony heard about his immediate transfer back to DC, he wasn't sure if he should feel happy or sad.

He simply wasn't the type of guy who could spend the rest of his life on a ship, in the middle of nowhere; he loved his home; his bed; his movies. He loved the city and its crowd. Those reasons were enough to make him want to get back to his normal life. However, meeting his old teammates was another story since he wasn't really ready to face them, yet. He had a lot of time to think and he had tried to change some of his habits, but it wasn't easy and it was even harder to know that he was going home to be mocked and ignored and avoided.  
  
Little did he know that a lot of things had changed for his teammates, too.  
  
It hadn't been the easiest time for them to go through. The silence of the bullpen, for one thing, was driving them crazy and to their surprises, solving their cases was taking longer than usual for them. Tony's insight was something that they all depended on and had taken for granted till the day he was gone.  
  
They finally had realized that it wasn't just for his personality that Gibbs wanted Tony back so bad. Sure, they had come to the conclusion that they needed someone like Tony in their job to make it bearable for them and had found out that it wasn't easy to be Tony, smiling despite everything that he'd been through or finding something funny to joke about just to lighten the mood.  
  
But that wasn't the only problem; the feeling of guilt was eating them up.

Abby was usually quiet; she wouldn't listen to loud music anymore, didn't have time for clubbing or for just going out. Nobody felt like clubbing when Tony had left like that. They were counting days to get Tony back, but felt slightly worried when they found out that he would be back in a few days.

They didn't know how to face him or what to say, Knowing that he probably was still mad at them for their prank. They regretted it and had tried to explain it to him, but Tony had yet to reply to any of their emails.  
  
But that wasn't because Tony didn't want to talk to them or wasn't ready to forgive them; no, if there was one thing Tony knew too well, it would be forgiving people. He hadn't responded just because he hadn't checked his personal account since the day he'd left DC. He didn't think there would be anything worth checking. He'd busied himself as much as possible and when there was nothing to do, he was too tired to check junk mail.  
  
...  
  
Entering the bullpen, Gibbs passed Tony's desk which was currently occupied by a temporary replacement and said. "Agent DiNozzo is coming back today; you can pack your stuff and meet the director for your new assignment." Everyone who heard Gibbs could say that he sounded relieved and even happy at that moment.  
  
Sighing with happiness, Agent Johnson grabbed his backpack and started to pack his stuff. His life has been hell the past two months. Between Gibbs being the biggest bastard he'd ever seen and the rest of the team being all grumpy and snappy, he couldn't remember another time he'd been so happy to leave some place.  
  
Nobody liked him there; he was too polite and too serious. The man didn't know how to smile and it wasn't like when Gibbs didn't smile. He just didn't see his coworkers worthy of receiving his precious smiles.  
  
He was one of those guys who believed that people shouldn't get too close to their coworkers; he never ceased calling people by their ranks. They were all agents or probationary agents to him, and Sir in Gibbs' case.

Even Gibbs hadn't bothered to correct him; all he cared about was for the job to get done well, so he could receive a neat report, which apparently was too hard for Johnson. Gibbs kept wondering who had promoted him to the senior field agent when he didn't even know what a proper report was.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
 **... TBC ...**


	4. Chapter 4

The elevator dinged and it was the most beautiful sound they'd heard in the last 3 months. Tony exited the elevator and walked towards their squad room.  
  
"Tony." Ziva jumped up from her seat and almost ran to him to give him a hug.  
  
Tony was slightly taken aback by her reaction since he didn't expect it. "Umm... Hi."  
  
She let go of him and stepped back for McGee to greet their friend. "It's good to see you, man." McGee said with an over bright smile.  
  
Ziva's grin widened at that scene, she hadn't seen McGee that happy for a long time.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
That was all Tony said in response before walking to his desk. "Is this occupied at the moment?" He indicated to his desk.  
  
"No. Of course not." Ziva and McGee looked at each other worriedly; noticing Tony's changes for the first time.  
  
They thought Tony would be on cloud nine and extremely happy to be back, but the Tony that was standing in front of them was all somber and quiet; like it wasn't important to him that he had been away for so long. Oh, and he was wearing a beard. That was what was wrong with the picture. How did they not notice that, first?  
  
"Tony?"  
  
Tony looked up when McGee didn't say anything else and caught his meaningful look at his beard. Stroking it with the back of his fingers, he shrugged and didn't give any explanations. "Where's Gibbs?"  
  
"With the Director. We were not expecting you before lunchtime." Ziva replied.  
  
"Go back to what you're doing, I'm not here to distract you." He stood up. "Going to meet the Director." He said to no one in particular and left.  
  
"I did not mean that we did not _want_ him back before lunchtime." Ziva turned her gaze to McGee.  
  
"I know." He sighed. "I guess he's still mad. We'll make it up to him, don't worry."  
  
...  
  
Knocking on the door, Tony entered Vance's office when he didn't found his assistant at her desk.  
  
"Agent DiNozzo. Welcome... back." Vance greeted Tony and was somehow disturbed by his look, even though he's been the only one who'd recently seen Tony through their video conferences and knew that he had a beard. He always thought that Tony's appearance had changed just because he was upset for going back to work on that ship for the second time, especially so close to the first time; he knew that it couldn't have been easy but he'd assumed that once back, Tony'd shave his beard.  
  
Gibbs studied his senior field agent for a second and his lips twitched with a grin.  
  
"Thank you, Sir. I'm here to report." Tony said formally. Glancing at Gibbs, a small smile crept at the corner of his mouth. "Boss."  
  
"DiNozzo." Gibbs smiled as he stood up to leave the office. "Good to have you back." He patted the younger man's shoulder before leaving the room.  
  
Forty minutes later Tony finally left Vance's office and walked back to his desk, where Abby was waiting for him, chewing her nails anxiously.  
  
"Tonyyyyyyy." she jumped up and gave him one of her fiercest hug ever. "Tony, Tony Tony. Oh Tony, I've been missing you so much. We all have been missing you; nothing was the same here and you were suddenly gone and you wouldn't even reply to our emails and I've sent you like two million messages but you didn't even send back one and I know you're angry with us but - Oh and look at you, you've got a beard. Why do you have a beard? You were against it. What's wrong? Why- "  
  
"Abby, please." Tony winced when he finally freed himself. Gibbs didn't miss the grimace but he let it slide for that moment. "I'm not mad, Abby. I just didn't check my personal account. I didn't know you've sent any messages or I would've responded."  
  
"What? Why didn't you check it? Of course I'd send you messages, or have you forgotten the first time when you were sent away? We used to talk every-"  
  
"I haven't forgotten, Abby. I just didn't have that much time. Besides, things have changed."  
  
"What do you mean things have changed? We... I mean I know we didn't have a farewell party; we didn't even say goodbyes, we parted so badly and-"  
  
"Abby." Gibbs' voice stopped her. "Breathe." He ordered. "He's just arrived, he's tired." Turning his gaze to Tony, he continued. "You can take the rest of the day off and come back to work tomorrow morning. Sharp."  
  
"I'm fine, Boss. I actually arrived last night. Well, it was around 0400 in the morning when I got home, but I'm all rested and showered."  
  
Gibbs nodded. "Get out of here, then. All of you. Go get some lunch." He dismissed them all, so they could talk and solve their problems. "And, DiNozzo, next time you get home; you better get rid of the beard."  
  
"I like it." Tony protested.  
  
"No, you don't and you know it. Get rid of it. But for now; out. Before we get a call."  
  
They all stood up and waited for Tony to join them, who reluctantly did so.  
  
Gibbs watched them leave and hoped that they'd solve their problems; he needed his team back and didn't want some hurt feelings to ruin it.  
He still could remember the first days after Tony's departure; Abby was devastated for apparently pulling a stupid prank and she was furious with him for letting Tony go.  
  
Ziva and McGee weren't any better; he'd confronted them and found out about their so-called joke and although he was mad at them for doing something so stupid, he couldn't really reprimand them since he wasn't so innocent himself.  
  
It'd taken him a pretty long time and lots of growls and glares, with occasional shouts, to get them back on track and make them focus on the job. None of them ever stopped feeling guilty, but Gibbs had never intended to change that. He believed that they all had to learn a lesson from that day and as long as their guilt wouldn't prevent them from doing their job properly, he'd let them carry it around.  
  
...  
  
"Look, I didn't know you've sent any messages; if this is just about them, I'm sorry I didn't reply. We don't have to go out." Tony said as they entered the parking lot.  
  
Abby was clinging to his arm like he'd disappear any second. "You're not getting out of this, Tony. We owe you an apology and you'll come with us and sit there while we explain our terrible behavior."  
  
Sighing, Tony knew there was no way out of this, so he decided to just wait and see what was going to happen.  
  
"Umm, Tony. Look, it meant to be a prank. We really didn't mean to hurt you." McGee started when they sat at a table in the nearest diner. "It was my idea."  
  
"But we were just as much to blame." Ziva added. "Well, Abby did not want to join us, but-"  
  
"What are you talking about? What prank?" Tony was confused.  
  
"The day... The day everything went to hell. You haven't done anything wrong and we didn't mean anything by things we said or did to you. I swear, Tony. We just wanted to see how you'd react and it was supposed to be just one day, the next day we'd have told you. But you were gone the next day." Abby looked like she'd burst into tears any moment.  
  
"Oh." That was all Tony managed to say.  
  
"Yeah well, we're sorry. As soon as Gibbs started to shout at you, we decided to stop our... Our prank, but it was already too late. We tried to explain it to you by sending messages but you haven't checked them." McGee said by way of explanation.  
  
Nodding her head, Ziva added, "Not that you did not have the right to be mad, because we have not treated you right and you already had enough problem with Gibbs being-.. Extra grumpy? I do not know. I just know that we are sorry if we hurt you-"  
  
"And for not being there when you needed us." Abby added.  
  
Tony blinked and smiled slightly. "Thanks... Ah, for telling me this. It's OK, like I said, I'm not mad, but it's good to know why you did what you did, anyway."  
  
"Will you forgive us?" Abby asked, the glimmer of hope shining in their eyes.  
  
"Of course, Abby." Tony squeezed her shoulder in reassurance. "Nothing to forgive, though. It's alright. You better order your lunch, now."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"I'm not hungry. I just got breakfast."  
  
"Things weren't the same without you, Tony. And it wasn't just because your temporary replacement was a jerk; it wasn't the same even before he arrived." Abby dragged her chair to be closer to Tony. "Nobody was the same. Gibbs was mad at us, I was mad at him, we'd always fight. You know we couldn't help it. I'm so happy you're back. Thanks for coming back, Tony."  
  
"Of course." Tony smiled again.  
  
McGee and Ziva realized that despite Tony's words, things weren't exactly straightened out between them; at least not between the three of them. - Abby was always another story!- Tony wasn't himself, yet and it was worrying them.  
  
Back at the bullpen, before Tony could sit back behind his desk, he found Gibbs standing there with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Umm, Boss?"  
  
"With me, DiNozzo." He said curtly and walked off.  
  
Tony followed him obediently.  
  
"Where are we going, Boss?" He asked once in the elevator.  
  
"Autopsy."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To see Ducky."  
  
"Right. Um, right, I haven't seen him yet." Tony nodded and Gibbs noted the reluctance in his voice.  
  
"What's it, DiNozzo?"  
  
"What? Nothing Boss." Tony smiled reassuringly and somehow with his beard, it didn't look even remotely close to his cheerful and carefree smiles.  
  
Gibbs just glared until Tony finally gave up. "It's nothing, really, I just don't think Ducky would like to see me, now."  
  
Gibbs frowned at that. "Where did that come from?"  
  
He didn't have time to get any answers as the doors opened to the right floor.  
  
Tony exited before Gibbs could find the chance to close the door and stop the elevator to get the answer.  
  
Glaring at his senior agent, Gibbs entered the autopsy, being followed by the uncertain younger man.  
  
"Ducky." He greeted, making Ducky and Palmer look up from their work.  
  
"Jethro." Ducky looked at him before realizing that he was being followed by Tony. "Anthony. My dear boy, you're back home." He took of his latex gloves and walked towards Tony, giving him a hug.  
  
Tony was a little surprised but hugged the older man back. "Hi, Ducky. Um, sorry I didn't come down sooner."  
  
"Sooner? When did you arrive, my boy?"  
  
Tony nodded and smiled at Palmer before returning his attention to Ducky. "It's been a few hours."  
  
"One hour and thirty five minutes." Gibbs announced the exact time.  
  
"Ah, nobody told me you were back or I would've come up to greet you myself. I figured I was quite harsh to you the last time we met and I wanted to reassure you that it had nothing to do with you. I am truly sorry for my behavior."  
  
Tony smiled warmly. "It's OK, Ducky. Not offended, I was just worried about you. Hope you feel better about whatever that was bothering you." He said politely and if Gibbs wasn't so busy thinking about why everyone seemed to have a reason to apologize to Tony, he would've realized that it wasn't like Tony to be so polite. Even to Ducky. There was no sign of the old Tony around and he had yet to joke about anything.  
  
"Can you give him a quick look over, Duck?"  
  
"What?" Tony stepped back, his eyes widened. "What for?"  
  
Gibbs just glared at Tony, conveying that he knew Tony was bothered by something. "I still haven't received the report of your time on the Seahawk and I'd like to make sure you're fine."  
  
"I am fine."  
  
"Ducky?"  
  
"Of course. Of course. Come here, dear Lad."  
  
"No, Ducky. I told you, I'm fine. The Director wouldn't have let me come back if I wasn't fine or ready; and you're busy, anyway."  
  
"Not at all. This poor man can wait. He's not gonna die anymore." The old ME chuckled at his own joke. "He'd died of natural causes. Nothing to worry about. Come on."  
  
Tony didn't move. "No. You want to make sure I'm fine, I'll get you a note from a doctor."  
  
"You have anything against Ducky?" Gibbs asked, knowing that would make Tony give up.  
  
"Mister Palmer, why don't you take some time off? You haven't had your lunch yet."  
  
"Of course, Dr. Mallard. Thank you." Palmer smiled, not offended by being dismissed, knowing well that Tony didn't like to have too many bystanders when being poked and prodded.  
  
"Good to see you, Jimmy." Tony said as the young assistant passed by him to exit the autopsy.  
  
He stopped and turned to Tony. "Thank you. It's good to see you, too. Nothing was the same without you. By the way, you look good with a beard. "  
  
Tony's eyebrow peaked, but he smiled and nodded his thanks.  
  
"Something is really wrong with Palmer." Gibbs growled.  
  
"Just because he didn't like your mustache and likes my beard?"  
  
"I gotta agree with Anthony, Jethro." Ducky chuckled. "Now, Anthony, can you please take off your shirt for me?"  
  
"You don't have to stay, Boss. I'm sure Ducky will tell you that I'm fine later."  
  
"Don't have anything better to do." Gibbs changed his position and moved closer so he could see what Ducky was doing.  
  
Tony sighed and slowly began to take his shirt off. What they saw next was nothing like what they'd expected to see. Some bruises, maybe, but... Nothing so gut-wrenching. They couldn't have gotten prepared for seeing something like that on Tony's body.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
... TBC ...


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh my-" Ducky felt dumbfounded.  
  
Gibbs' eyes widened. Tony's left upper body, back and chest, was covered with nasty burn marks. "What the hell, DiNozzo?"  
  
Tony felt totally awkward; he shifted uncomfortably on the table and sighed. "There was a fire on the ship a few weeks back. It wasn't an accident and one of the crew was stuck in a cabin at the end of a corridor."  
  
 _'And you were stupid enough to risk your life for him.'_ Gibbs really wanted to say that, but knew that he would've done the same and he knew Tony well enough to know he couldn't stand aside and let an innocent man die.  
  
"Everyone was trying hard to put out the fire, but they weren't fast enough. I had to do something." Tony said, as if he knew what Gibbs was thinking about. "I went in there and a-.. Umm... An 'I-still-don't-know-what' fell on me when I got inside the cabin. The left shoulder took the brunt of it, but I'm fine now and there's nothing to keep me away from doing the field duty. It's just still a little sensitive to touch and pressure. That's about all."  
  
"The man you tried to save?"  
  
"He's fine. He was unconscious when I found him, but it was just because of smoke inhalation. He's got a few bruises and burn marks, but he'll live. And before you ask, yes, I got the one responsible for it."  
  
"I had no doubt." Gibbs shook his head. "And nobody informed us why?"  
  
"The Director knows."  
  
"I mean us." Gibbs growled.  
  
"It wasn't a big deal."  
  
"Ahh, for God's sake, DiNozzo. Half of your body is burnt. What's a big deal in your book?" Gibbs' concern was coming out as anger.  
  
"May I?" Ducky decided that it was a good time to interrupt them. Another minute and they'd have started to tear each other apart. He'd noticed that Tony wasn't ready to deal with Gibbs and he knew that Gibbs could say something that he'd regret later in order to hide his concern.  
  
Tony shrugged and Ducky started to examine the burn marks and Tony's shoulder. After a few minutes of silence, he finally stopped his examination and informed Tony that he could put on his shirt. "Is that all? Do you have any other injuries that we should know about?"  
  
"No, that's all. My legs are fine. My medical report will be on your desk tomorrow morning." Tony replied surly.  
  
"Very good. What about your lungs? Smoke inhalation can be more dangerous for someone with your history."  
  
Tony knew there's no point in hiding the truth. "I had some problems the first few days. But the problem is gone now and my lungs are fine, at least as fine as they were before the arson."  
  
"Indeed, your lungs are not making any abnormal sounds." Ducky said as he put his stethoscope away. "I know you've seen a doctor and I could say more if I could take a look at the X-rays of your shoulder, but I'm going to say this more for Jethro over there." He addressed Gibbs indirectly. "You're pretty much fine, considering what you just told us. Unfortunately your shoulder might bother you in the cold weather or if you hit it hard, but I assure you that it won't stop you from doing your job. Those burn marks, though..." He paused." I know a highly proficient plastic surgeon that can help you with them, if you want."  
  
Tony tilted his head. "You're not gonna see those scars a lot, Ducky, don't worry."  
  
"Anthony, all I'm saying is-"  
  
"I know. It's alright, Ducky. I just don't feel like going through another hospitalization any time soon."  
  
"I understand." The old man nodded. "Come and see me whenever you decide that it's the right time. It's not too bad and I cannot see any reason why you can't get your fine skin back."  
  
Tony chuckled at that and stood up. "Be careful, Ducky. People might take it the wrong way, hearing you talking about my skin like that."  
  
Ducky chucked as he felt the hint of normalcy coming back to Tony's voice, even Gibbs who had been silent the whole time couldn't help but crack a smile at Tony's words.  
  
"My place, Dinozzo, 2030. Get rid of the beard." He said as he left the autopsy.  
  
...  
  
"Tony? We thought we could eat dinner together, tonight. I will cook. Will you come?" Ziva asked after a few minutes of having Tony back at his desk. Tony was reading through a case and hadn't even started to put back his stuff in his drawers.  
  
Looking up from his case, Tony thought for a moment. "It's nice of you, but I can't. I've plans for tonight. Thanks, anyway."  
  
"You just got back today. How could you make plans so fast?" McGee complained, expecting a witty comeback or a nickname like McJealous, but was disappointed when Tony just shrugged and said, "I've got a lot of things to do. You enjoy your time."  
  
"But-"  
  
"He's not gonna leave again. Cook for him some other night." Gibbs growled from his desk, sensing Tony's discomfort. "Now get back to work before I make you all stay tonight."  
  
Tony sent a grateful look to his boss and turned back to work.  
  
...  
  
Exactly at 0830 pm, Gibbs heard his front door getting opened and closed as someone walked in. Walking down the stairs, he found Tony standing in the middle of the living room, holding a six pack of beer in his right hand.  
  
Hearing Gibbs' footsteps, Tony turned around and Gibbs saw that he had finally shaved his face.  
  
Smiling slightly, Gibbs took the pack from Tony's hand and put them in the fridge. "Why are you standing there?"  
  
"Huh? Ah... I just-" Tony looked around. "Nothing. Is there anything I can do?"  
  
"No. The dinner is ready. Take a seat."  
  
Tony sat down on the couch and inhaled deeply.  
  
"You miss homemade meals?"  
  
"Doesn't everyone?"  
  
Gibbs handed Tony their dishes and went back to the kitchen. Grabbing two cold beers from the fridge, he made his way back to the table.  
  
They ate in silence, which wasn't unusual, and were almost done when Gibbs finally poked. "So."  
  
"So?"  
  
"There's a lot to talk about."  
  
"WOW, you really wanna talk?"  
  
"Not me, DiNozzo. You." Gibbs corrected patiently.  
  
"I don't have anything to say or I wouldn't have stayed silent so long." Tony took a sip of his beer.  
  
"What's with everyone apologizing?"  
  
"You got me!" Tony shrugged. "Tell me if you ever find the answer."  
  
The head slap wasn't unexpected.  
  
"Seriously, it's nothing."  
  
"It's nothing? Even Ducky had a reason to apologize. The only one I didn't see saying sorry to you was Palmer." Gibbs pointed out.  
  
"He wasn't even there that day." Tony said before he could stop himself, and it really wasn't like Palmer to hurt anyone, anyway.  
  
"What da-" Gibbs frowned. "The day you left?"  
  
Tony nodded.  
  
"What about that day?" Gibbs hid the fact that he knew about the prank, trying to find out how Tony really felt about it.  
  
"Nothing, Boss. Alright? It was months ago and it's in the past."  
  
"It'd be if you haven't entered the bullpen with a beard and wasn't acting like this."  
  
"I shaved." Tony said defensively. "And act like what?" He frowned.  
  
"Like this." The older man chose not to elaborate." And like the way you were acting in the bullpen. You're not yourself. So just spill it."  
  
"That's nothing. They pulled a prank that day, I wasn't aware, of course. The problem was they'd chosen the wrong day to do so. And with everything that happened after that, we didn't get a chance to work things out."  
  
"Ducky was in a prank against you?" Gibbs asked incredulously.  
  
Tony actually laughed at that. "No. No, he wasn't in it. I have no idea what his problem was, that day. What was his problem?" He asked." I never found the chance to ask him about it and I-... well, I thought it wasn't my place to ask, but he seemed really pissed. He alright?"  
  
"I can't say I know what you're talking about, but he seems fine to me, now. When you left like that, we didn't really have the time to think about anything else." Gibbs said as if he was trying to explain why he hadn't noticed his old friend's discomfort.  
  
Tony nodded.  
  
"If it was a prank, why are you still uncomfortable around them?"  
  
"What? I'm not." Tony protested. "Seriously, I'm not angry about that prank." he continued when Gibbs narrowed his eyes.  
  
"So, what are you angry about?"  
  
Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm not angry. Do I look angry to you?"  
  
Gibbs pondered for a second and decided to drop the subject for the time being. "Your father showed up in the bullpen a few days after you left."  
  
Tony's head snapped up at that. "What did he want?"  
  
"He wanted to _apologize_." Gibbs said, emphasizing the last word. "Again, seems like everyone owes you an apology."  
  
"It wasn't one of my best days." Tony blurted out like it'd explain everything. "What did he say?"  
  
"I took him to the conference room when he refused to leave, even after hearing about your temporary assignment."  
  
"Another conference. Great." Tony murmured.  
  
"He didn't exactly tell me what he was sorry for, but he said he'd talked to you a few nights back and had said some colorful things to you."  
  
"I'm surprised he could remember." Tony's jaw was set. "He usually doesn't even remember what he has done or said while... Intoxicated."  
  
Gibbs sighed inwardly, he had guesses right. DiNozzo Sr. had once again hurt his son and with everything that had happened after that, he couldn't really expect Tony to put his old mask back on.  
  
"He asked for your number, but when I refused to give it to him, he asked me to give him a call when you came back."  
  
"Did you?" Tony asked sharply.  
  
"No. But you should."  
  
Tony was silent, but he nodded nonetheless.  
  
"You wanna tell me what the two of you talked about?"  
  
"It wasn't exactly a conversation." Tony stated resentfully. "And no, it won't change anything."  
  
Gibbs couldn't help thinking that if it was any other time Tony would probably open up to him or at least come up with some stupid stories to change the subject; anything but a straight-negative answer. "You're not gonna call him." It was more of a statement than a question.  
  
Tony shrugged. "Believe me; he's not sitting there, waiting for my call."  
  
Gibbs knew that Tony was right and there was nothing he could do about it, so he just decided to go back to the problem he, himself, was responsible for. "I'm gonna repeat myself, just this one time. I didn't mean what I said, DiNozzo."  
  
"When?" Tony looked at him, genuinely confused.  
  
"The other day, about sending you away."  
  
"Boss, I know. I got it." Tony smiled. "What's going on with you? It's not like you to repeat yourself, period and here you're, apologizing, something that you've got a rule against, for what? The fourth time?"  
  
"Like I said, it's not a sign of weakness between friends." Gibbs didn't regret repeating himself. "I want you to know that I never stopped trying to get you back, it's just that Vance was too happy with your result as the Agent Afloat. Be careful when and where you show your best work."  
  
"Well, at least he was happy with my work somewhere." Tony chuckled bitterly.  
  
"I don't care what he thinks. You're exactly where you should be."  
  
"You mean at your place?"  
  
The head slap he received for that was exactly what he wanted.  
  
Tony smiled. "Thanks Boss." Taking a look at his watch, he stood up. "I better go. Need some sleep before starting a new day."  
  
Gibbs didn't move from his seat, he looked at Tony as he put on his overcoat with some effort.  
  
"The burns still bother you?"  
  
Tony hesitated before saying anything; but knowing that his boss could see right through him, he decided to try a little honesty. "Not too much and it's getting better."  
  
Gibbs nodded. "Think about Ducky's suggestion. Chicks don't really dig those kinda scars."  
  
"Not gonna be a problem, then. I don't feel like meeting anyone, right now." Realizing a second too late that he had revealed too much, he quickly said his goodbye and rushed to the door. "Thanks for the dinner, Boss. See you tomorrow."  
  
"Drive safely." Gibbs called out just before Tony closed the door behind him.  
  
Sighing, Gibbs leaned his head back, not sure what to do with this new Tony.  
.  
  
.  
  
... TBC ...


	6. Chapter 6

The next day passed with no more confrontation as they were busy dealing with a case from early morning. The case was complicated and they didn't have any time for their usual banter.  
  
McGee and Ziva felt better when they saw Tony looking more like himself, even though they didn't find the chance to comment on him being clean shaven.

It was their first case since Tony's return and having to deal with Tony's replacement for two agonizing months, they were greatly thankful for having Tony back. Even though he wasn't his usual talkative self, his skills had helped them go through everything much easier.  
  
It was around 8 pm when they all dragged their tired bodies to their places.  
  
Tony went straight to the bathroom to take a long hot shower. He still felt extremely happy for being able to take a shower in his home; he hadn't missed anything more than his own bathroom; not even his bed!  
  
After wrapping a towel around his waist, he stepped out of the bathroom and almost jumped out of his skin when he found Abby standing in the middle of his living room, staring at his scarred chest with wide eyes.  
  
"To- Tony." She whispered in shock.  
  
"What the hell?" Tony exclaimed.  
  
"I... I wanted to see you. I needed to... To talk to you." she stammered.  
  
"The door was locked."  
  
"Ziva picked it."  
  
It was just then that he realized Abby wasn't the only one in the room with him; Ziva was standing in a corner, matching Abby in wide eyes.  
  
"The lock is there for a reason." He stated angrily.  
  
"What's happened to you, Tony?" Abby asked in a low voice, her eyes showing her concern and sadness.  
  
Looking down at his chest, Tony didn't give any straight answers. "Job happened." He said and walked towards his bedroom. "I'd have said make yourself comfortable, but you already have." He threw over his shoulder and slammed the door shut behind him.  
  
It took him about 15 minutes to get dressed and finally leave his room and if it wasn't for Ziva stopping her, Abby would've knocked and called and entered Tony's room a hundred times.  
  
"O thank God, you're still here." He mumbled sarcastically when he saw them sitting on his couch.  
  
"You want us to leave?" Ziva asked.  
  
"I wanted you to respect my privacy and knock before invading my personal space."  
  
"We knocked. You did not answer."  
  
"Which normally doesn't mean that you can let yourself in."  
  
Abby dropped her gaze as Ziva nodded. "You are right. Sorry. We will just leave."  
  
"Stay." Tony ordered. "You've seen what I didn't want you to, anyway." He shrugged. "Coffee?"  
  
"Yes, please." Ziva answered.  
  
Tony went to the Kitchen to prepare coffee and came back with a bottle of beer for Abby.  
  
"What happened to your chest and back, Tony?" Abby pushed.  
  
"Drop it, Abby. Please. I don't feel like talking about it. There was an accident on the ship, but I'm fine now." He didn't say that it wasn't really an accident and didn't go to any details. "So, what brought you two here? Should I wait for McGee, too? I kinda freaked out today by your endless glances."  
  
Abby could see how hard it was for Tony to talk about his scars, so she just decided to let it slide. "Um, he wanted to come, but he was kinda... Umm, he wasn't feeling good. Food poisoning or something."  
  
Tony raised his eyebrows. "And you're here? Shouldn't you be there for him?"  
  
Ziva waved her hand as if to dismiss the idea. "He will be fine by tomorrow morning. You know that he has a sensitive stomach."  
  
Tony grinned and shook his head.  
  
"Tony?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You have not forgiven us, no?"  
  
Tony looked at her and frowned. "For your prank? Of course I did, Ziva. It was nothing."  
  
"You've been back for two days and you still haven't called McGee any nicknames, haven't cracked a joke or haven't pulled any pranks." Abby pulled Tony's hand so he'd sit beside her on the couch. "So, what's going on?"  
  
"Nothing's going on." He sounded a little bit annoyed. "I'm respecting your feelings and space and you're complaining? I don't really know what to do around you."  
  
Ziva moved and sat on the other side of Tony. "We did not mean any of those things we said to you, Tony."  
  
"You've already said that once, Ziva. You haven't come all this way to repeat it, have you?"  
  
"Tony-"  
  
"I'm fine." He insisted.  
  
"No, you are not. You have taken our words to soul."  
  
"To heart."  
  
"Ah, you admitted."  
  
"No, I didn't. I just corrected your mistake." He rolled his eyes. "Which I probably shouldn't have. Sorry." He almost mumbled next.  
  
"You see, you're angry." Abby jumped in.  
  
"I'm not angry, but whatever, you wanna know what my problem is; fine. I'll tell you. The problem is I think I've gone too far with you. Well, I'm not sure about you, Abby; I mean I never really did anything to you. Or did I?"  
  
Abby shook her head fiercely.  
  
Tony nodded. "The problem is I think I'm the only one to blame for where I am, for-"  
  
"For where you are? What do you mean by that?" Ziva couldn't resist asking.  
  
"You may not have meant what you said that day, but you meant it every other time you said the same words. _'None of your business, Tony.'_ _'Mind you own business, Tony.' 'Why is Gibbs keeping him around?'_ Name it." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "That wasn't the first time I've heard those words and it wasn't your first time showing how little you think of me or how worthless you think I am. I've had enough time to think about it all and I realized that this is my own fault. Maybe it's really time I act more my age. That's what you've always wanted me to do, isn't it?"  
  
"That is not true, Tony." Ziva protested.  
  
"No? Haven't you thought of yourself as my superior? Hasn't Tim? Haven't you ever felt that you're better than me so why should you listen to my orders? Haven't you ever nagged about me being an overgrown kid?"  
  
"Tony-"  
  
"Look, I'm not mad or anything and I'm not questioning your loyalty. I think you'll have my back out there and that's enough. Let's work together here and then you'll have the chance to see a glimpse of the real me. Who knows, you might like it."  
  
"Tony, I... We like you whatever you do or however your act, but we're missing the old you. I've never thought of you as an overgrown kid; I know the real you and I always could understand why you did what you did. We regret our action. That last day was-..." Abby paused. "Tony I can't go through that again. None of us can. I don't want you to leave. Please, Tony."  
  
"Who said I'm leaving?" Tony blinked in confusion.  
  
"They told me that you said you weren't sure you if wanted to come back or not and now that you're back, you're nothing like your old self and you had a beard and yes you've shaved it but I still think you wouldn't have if Gibbs hadn't made you. But hey, you looked good even with a beard; did I tell you that, yesterday? Because it's true, not that I want you to let your beard grow again because you look ... Well, you look- "  
  
"Older?" Tony helped, having a wide smile at Abby's rambling. He had missed this, even if he wouldn't admit it aloud.  
  
"Yes. No... Ah, that wasn't the point." She pouted. "The point is we didn't mean to hurt you and for you changing your behavior like this, it just means that you're upset and I'll never ever forgive myself for hurting you and for -"  
  
Tony finally placed his hand over Abby's mouth.  
  
"I'm not mad, I'll write it down for you if it makes you feel better and I especially can't get upset with you. So forget it, OK? I wanted to order a Pizza. You wanna join me?"  
  
"What should we do to prove to you that we regret what we did?"  
  
"I believe you, Ziva. I do. I just want some respect. That's all. I don't mind pranks and jokes, but contrary to popular beliefs, I'm not an idiot. I can say when people mean what they say."  
  
"I never thought that you were an idiot. We want to be your friends."  
  
"You are. I wouldn't have asked you to stay for dinner otherwise." He grabbed his phone to call for a Pizza.  
  
"Just not like before."  
  
"Yeah, you could say so."  
  
"You are not gonna goof around anymore?"  
  
Tony just looked at her.  
  
"You are not going to be another Gibbs, no? Please Tony, one is more than enough."  
  
"Oh, but that'd be reaaaaally cool. I mean imagine, having the two of them in one room and while everyone else talks, they'd just look at each other and make decisions and we all should wonder what just happened and that's the coolest way to communicate. I mean they already do that sometimes and if they do it all the time, that'd be just so much cooler."  
  
"Well, I do not find it exciting. We do not need another Gibbs."  
  
"I'm not Gibbs... And you all made sure I knew it by repeating it a million times when he was in Mexico."  
  
Ziva and Abby were shocked but couldn't help feeling ashamed and looking down.  
  
"It is deeper than just a few months." Ziva pondered aloud.  
  
Tony shook his head and dialed a number to order their dinner. "Let's have some dinner." He stood up and walked to the kitchen, leaving Ziva and Abby with their thoughts.  
  
...  
  
It wasn't until several weeks later that Gibbs finally had had enough and decided to have a talk with Ducky about Tony. As he'd expected, Ducky had just verbalized his own thoughts.  
  
Tony was doing much better and his radiant smiles were back, but that was just about it. There were still no jokes, no pranks and especially no movie references.  
  
He would still deflect Gibbs' anger when it was needed, but not with inappropriate jokes or comments. He just seemed to always have something new on their current case or he would come up with some ideas; they had no clue how he did it.  
  
But what worried Gibbs was that he knew this was costing the younger man a great deal. He was hurting inside and he wouldn't let anyone in.  
  
"I think young Anthony is trying to keep people at arm's length. I cannot blame him, though. He probably thinks that people won't be able to hurt him if he doesn't let them get close."  
  
"It's not like DiNozzo. He needs to let it out."  
  
"Not true. He's always been an introvert. The difference is that, these days, he doesn't use the same mask to deflect the attention he receives."  
  
Gibbs thought about it and realized that it was true. But Tony used to talk to him more in the past. Recently, he'd rarely show up at Gibbs' place and it was only when Gibbs had invited him.  
  
The problem was that Gibbs wasn't really the sharing kind of guy and dealing with a mute Tony was a dilemma for him. "He used to talk more."  
  
"You just need to earn his trust back. I'm sure he'll open up to you again. Just be there when he needs the support."  
  
"Hell, Duck, it took him years the first time around."  
  
"Too bad we betrayed his trust, then." The old ME sighed.  
  
Tony chose the exact moment to enter the autopsy and he instantly felt that something was up. "Ah, um... Bad time?" He looked at the other two. "I just wanted to tell you that we have Miss Wilson in interrogation #1, Boss."  
  
"Let's go." Gibbs said as he walked out with him.  
  
Inside the elevator he hit the switch to stop the car and turned to Tony. "We were talking about you." He wasn't one to hide the truth and especially not when he wanted to earn Tony's trust back.  
  
"Gee, thanks, Boss. I feel much better." Tony leaned against the wall.  
  
"Everyone's worried. Ducky was telling me why he thinks you're keeping your distance."  
  
Tony raised his eyebrows to show he was curious.  
  
Gibbs shrugged. "He thinks you've been hurt way too many times. You're just reacting and keeping your distance so you wouldn't get hurt again."  
  
Tony stared at Gibbs with a slight frown, he couldn't believe that his boss was actually telling him everything, but more importantly he was surprised to see that they were so worried and had realized how he really felt.  
  
Gibbs slapped him to the back of the head. "Don't give me that surprised look."  
  
"Umm, OK?"  
  
"My door is always open, you know that, right?"  
  
Tony was quiet for a few seconds, but then he nodded and sighed "I know, Boss. Thanks."  
  
Gibbs nodded. "Let's get back to work." He started the elevator. "You gonna put your old mask back on, any time soon?"  
  
"Thought you wanted me to grow up." Tony glanced at Gibbs and turned his gaze back to the door.  
  
"That's part of the game." Gibbs said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Then I think you gotta find another role in this game. Don't think I can act like a goofball for a while. I'm too tired."  
  
Gibbs nodded his understanding, glad for the little honesty Tony was offering. "I'll find another reason to slap you." He stated at last.  
  
And finally that brought a chuckle out of his SFA. "I know you will, Boss. I wouldn't expect anything else."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
-The End-


End file.
